I've found that the more people I talk with about my trip to Mozambique, and the more people I express my fear to about how I am going to have to conquer the language barrier, the more people seem to have a stake in my experience in Africa. It's interesting because it seems to partially alleviate my fears, that I have so many people supporting me. And I suppose that's why people like to offer support and lines of communication. However, a certain part of me knows that I'm the only person who can do this as well as I would like to.
I picture myself in a small room with a shortwave battery-powered radio broadcasting a talk show in Portuguese, dim light from outside and a couple candles lit inside, writing to friends during my first week and feeling both an overwhelming sense of adventure and overwhelming responsibility. I realize that I'm 2+ years and several thousand miles from my friends, and it still feels like I'm just camping out. Except I have two billion things to remember about my new life, not to mention just communicating with the people who I'm living with. I envision not getting very much sleep the first night, but getting the best night of sleep of my life the second night, as fatigue and the comfort of being away from technology shut my eyes.
A part of me wants to be in that world tomorrow, while another part of me wants it to still be two or three years off, so I can be adequately emotionally prepared. But I guess it would be impossible, as I would have too many prejudices about the entire experience if I had too much time to research what I thought it was going to be. So I'm glad that I'm four weeks away, and that I won't have too much time to just sit around and feel useless.
My birthday went well, mostly spent relaxing and brainstorming things to do for my birthday, then realizing that it was Labor Day and nothing was open :> . This week has been a little strange, as it's the first time that I've been in Cleveland not working and not taking classes. I'm still keeping busy, however, whittling down that To Do list. I hope that I get to say goodbye to everyone I would like to, especially for my going away party next weekend. I know, however, that saying goodbye won't help me to not miss them.
I wish I could *not miss* some people who I know I will miss dearly.
It's only two years. You'll hardly know I was gone, anyway :>
