I'm frustrated.
A teacher discovered that an entire room of students blatantly copied directly from one another on a national exam, and she did nothing about it - it was something funny, I guess.
A man who beats his wife bullies his would-be accusers into paying HIM money.
About 3 people in Mozambique understand why I'm here. I'm not one of them.
I'm correcting exams that teachers get paid extra for - so where's the money going that doesn't go to me? To the people who told me to do the work?
It's a rare moment in the day when I feel respected. Rarer still from a stranger.
But the main problem seems to be, and I've clearly put a lot of thought into this, that I can see very easily the other point of view. That is, I feel like I can now put myself in a Mozambican's shoes and understand why I'm treated (and other Americans are as well) the way I am. I see the string of abuses and disrespect. In fact, this frustrates me more, because I just want people to realize that I'm not here to give handouts and make life "easier". I want to help make Mozambicans' lives better, which doesn't mean improving their quality of life today.
Kingston, drunk, mentioned to me today how many teachers at school don't like me, but a few really DO like me. And it seems to hinge on how strict I am and if they agree with that. Kingston things that the ones who don't like me made it through school by cheating and barely making it, so they get patriotic - in a sense - and xenophobic. All of a sudden it becomes a race issue (in the nationalistic sene) and strong emotions are involved with race issues.
And though I am told I would lose my idealism, I think that if I did - if I dropped my principles - I would be of no help, whether Mozambicans want it or not, whether they use it or not.
Peace
John
