I dreamed the other night about having a pet here and how much it would add to my experience. I think I'm shying away from it because of the added responsibility and worry, especially when there's no real infrastructure or security when it comes to pets.
But when I saw a kitten at my tailor's house, I had to stop myself from bringing it home right then and there - maybe the next time, I won't!
I should really stop overanalyzing everything - I think I'm slowly coming to the realization that everything in the Western world is foreign and becoming meaningless to me, however tempted I am to jump back into it and be a functional member of society. Part of me wants to forget it all and go somewhere I can be anonymous but helpful, but most of me still wants to go back and carve out the life I need to have.
Yet, there's still another part of me that sees that selfishness in all of this and realizes that I should feel lucky just to have the choice in the first place. And so I feel like an ass thinking about my next step when I'm in a place where I can bring about some real change.
Not that I'm not working hard on that part, but still...
Lessons are fun and normal, so far. The challenges are fewer and expected and the respect is high. After all, it is only the beginning of the year...
Peace
John
