It's just about a year since I left Cleveland. I don't miss anybody any less, much to the chagrin of those people. I was asking myself how I could miss them for one year - and now I know.
America almost seems like a dream state. It seems too good to be true, given what I know to be true and choose to forget.
I think I'm still coming out of my shell - I haven't yet been to the club alone. But I also haven't arranged for a time to go with any of my friends (Mozambican friends) here. I think it's because I'm afraid of the cultural expectations - money, alcohol, women. I can handle my dissonance with American values, but I don't want to offend an African after I've invited them to go dancing.
So I'm listening to it, knowing that 95% of my students can't afford to go (though the one kid I paid for a month ago in return for discipline inside the classroom, has paid off, so maybe I should start doing that more often). Given my latest home improvement work, I can't really afford to go, either! But I don't feel so bad about being here, though I should at least "take around" and see people.
I guess I'm content to stare at the greener grass in America, or what I think is greener. I know I'll miss a ton about being here, now that new secrets are revealed every day. But I wish somehow that my two worlds could permanently co-exist.
Next week will be my first taste of training from a volunteer's perspective. I've got a lot to do, but as usual, I'm looking forward to the challenge.
I thought tonight about how random it is that I am where I am, and I know who I do. I could have gone to college in North Carolina or ended up a volunteer in China. My best friends could have been wildly different - but then I rethink things and it seems to make sense. No matter what the circumstances are, I would have sought out certain people and made the most out of the situation. Strange how I've found myself across the world.
Peace
John
