Anatomy of a Conversation.
THE APPROACH
Walking in Moz is very casual and as has been explained before, can often be directionless but not without purpose. So seeing someone you know is not unexpected or cause for a rapid change of pace - or even direction. Conversations, though short in duration, often happen in passing with very little or no eye contact and much of the speaking happening walking away from the other person. Conversations that actually require stopping and talking are a different beast and require (for a Westerner) a fair amount of concentration.
THE MEETING
Conversations cannot be held just anywhere. There is momentary planning, then a mutual decision usually fully expressed by body language. When it's hot, shade is found; when it's loud, quiet is sought out. The place agreed upon is usually a minimal distance from the people engaging in conversation, or is a happy medium.
Then comes the obligatory handshake (between men or sometimes between professional women and men) or a kiss on both cheeks (only when a woman is involved). The handshake is a standard grip, followed by a quick flip to the thumb-thumb-and-fingers-to-opposite-palm grip and then back. The flip is often fluid and not fully executed; a kind of "secret" handshake.
"Bom dia", "Boa tarde" or "Boa noite"s are exchanged (literally "Good day", "Good afternoon" and "Good night") and each party asks how the other is doing through many different types of questions - the formal "Como esta?" or the informal "Como vai?" (How is it going?) or "Como e que" (How is it?). Responses are pretty standard and are usually along the lines of "Estou bom" (I am well) or "Tudo bem" (All is well). The latter also acts as a question if you're feeling lazy!
After these formalities, we enter the meat of the conversation.
THE TOPICS
You can usually anticipate the topics of conversation: where a friend or colleage currently is, who you are and what your profession is, where you are currently going, the weather, or the general topic of money and giving.
The flow of the conversation is usually a decrescendo unless there is surprising information, at which point it peaks, but just for a second. Then there are long silences, often because my Portuguese (and small talk) is pretty weak ---
A quick note on that. Because Portuguese is a second or third language here, there's a tremendous amount of understanding and patience when it comes to speaking and teaching in it. People here are confident I will learn it quickly because they've seen it all before. In fact, they say that Tober's Portuguese was actually worse than mine, but I don't quite believe them just yet. We'll see. He's fluent now, which gives me hope! Anyway ---
There aren't very many topics of conversation that I've randomly run into. However, that's probably due to language difficulties and my novelty in town.
THE CLOSING
Once the conversationn winds down enough, or someone decides they really must go, a hand is offered and the final handshake is very similar to the opening one, with the addition of pressing your thumbs together and then snapping them off as you leave. Usually, it's preceded by a "Yeah..." or "Ta bom" (OK) and then "Tchau" (ciao!) Almost formulaic, this whole process. And it's really quite interesting how communication can be so homogeneous within a society and different from other societies so radically.
The word from the States is that we're going to war any day now.
Peace
John
