Jake, Nimi and I hit the town after watching the second "Lord of the Rings" with Charles and Annie.
Got up early to catch a chapa to Maputo and got on possibly the most comfortable vehicle of public transport I've ever seen. A minibus from South Africa, boasting individual seats, all fully padded, with tinted windows and nice suspension. Slept like a baby.
So I'm back at the training site to watch lessons that the new trainees are giving. Should be fun.
(YES, WE'RE BACK TO THE VACATION...)
Wednesday, November 5
I think I adequately described this day because it was a lazy, rainy day. Next.
Thursday, November 6
Scratch that. Thursday was the rainy day. (Now do you believe that I don't edit very much? Sure, my Mom helps out with errors here and there, and translating the often foreign tongue I write in, but...) We went to the main market in the town where we were staying, and we also played cards. Other than that, we basically relaxed and ate. It was a necessary rest day to prepare for an essentially long weekend. That, and it helped me put some distance between me and my school.
I've found out over the last week the effect of one of my actions while proctoring exams. It brings up a whole host of potential issues, not the least of which is my place in Mozambican society as a foreigner.
On the first day of exams, I proctored a group which contained one student who had lost her mother in a car accident, just two days before, unbeknownst to me. Her family had insisted that she continue with the exams instead of simply grieving.
This very same girl, in the middle of the exam, turned completely around in her chair, consulting with the student behind her. I stood in front of her, so that when she turned back around she could see me in front and realize what was going on. I warned her not to do that again, because I would have to take her test away.
Because it's exams, I allow for more leeway. Normally, this would have been grounds for me to take the test away. But I gave her a second chance. Another girl in the class had a cheat sheet in her pocket that I confiscated, warning her that if she did ANYTHING else, I would kick her out. She didn't.
But the one who lost her mom, did. As soon as I had finished warning her and started to walk away, she turned around in her seat again to try and get some answers. I immediately took her test away and told her to leave. She did so, relatively quietly - I say this because if you receive a zero for one exam, you fail all of them.
But I hadn't intended on giving a zero, because she didn't actually gain anything from cheating. It was punishment enough to have left early.
Unfortunately, she walked out of school past other classrooms and so othe teachers saw her walking away. I got interrogated as to why a student was kicked out, and they insisted I give her a zero.
Reluctantly, because I didn't feel she deserved it, I wrote "Fraud" on her exam.
Later in the day, the passing of her mother was relayed to me. Later in the week, the story ended up on provincial radio, serving about 1 million people. No names were used, but my students knew it was me who had kicked her out, and ultimately negated any chance at doing the exams.
Clearly, I felt like shit and I still feel bad. My logical reason side knows that it was a necessary and correct objective decision. There was no alternative, quite honestly. She cheated.
But the side of me that feels, aches. These are people who have very little, a family is destroyed, and I very haphazardly throw salt in their wounds.
Part of me wants to apologize, but part of me realizes how lost for words I would find myself. I wouldn't be sorry for what I would have to apologize for. I'm sorry she lost the nucleus of her family and her hope at replacing that light - but what I did was necessarily heartless because standardized testing is heartless. And it makes me wonder if Mozambique is really ready for an educational system that is so callous - not to say that I see an alternative.
So what I'm trying to say is that I see my role to be a product of the American educational system trying to adapt to the Mozambican system. And maybe they're just not ready; maybe this isn't the right match.
Peace
John
